Mom? Are you reading this? Maybe you should have a drink first. Can we get a rum and coke over here? She’s gonna need it...
I might as well add the disclaimer to anyone who has made some impact in my life, good or bad. I’ve changed the names to protect the wicked but if the words “oh shit” entered your head when you heard this book was coming out, you might not want to peek inside. Or, better yet, ride the rollercoaster with me, baby!
A lot of people have asked me throughout this process, why I would want to write this book. There are a few reasons why I decided to completely expose myself for the world to see, but certainly one particular moment comes to mind. During a heated argument with my ex-husband, post-divorce, he blurted out that he thought I was incapable of loving another human being. It’s one of those things you hear that is so shocking to you that the argument just ceases. I was speechless, I didn’t know what to say. Normally I would have chalked it up to the fact that he was in fact a disgruntled ex because it wouldn’t be the first time we got down and dirty in an argument, but this time I didn’t. I never forgot that comment, mainly because I wondered for years if it was true. There was just something about the way he said it that made me wonder if I was really that irrevocably screwed up. So, I decided to delve into my past, for my sake as well as my daughters, to find out why I walked out on a relationship that everyone thought was perfect.
Well the truth is, I’m pretty fucked up…hahaha…no really, I am. Call it a twisted DNA strand mixed with a childhood that was anything but boring, throw in a couple of jerks (men) and you end up on the wrong side of crazy. I wish it wasn’t true but I’ve accepted it, in fact you might be hard pressed to find a woman who isn’t. I assure you, as much as you don’t want to believe it’s true, we aren’t born this way. Something happens to bring us to this point. Thankfully, the people in my life have embraced my crazy and love me for it. My best friend once told me, “Kim you’re insane, you know that right? It’s okay though, I dig it.”
I loved him for saying that. I know that the men that have managed to stick it out with me, despite the fact that I have a strait jacket similar to that of Beetle Juice’s blazer hanging in my closet, because they really love me. I’m not an easy person to love so I hold tightly to the people who, no matter what, never leave my side. Those are the gems and those kinds of people are really hard to find. If you have people like that in your life, don’t let them go.
So, I’m a crazy girl. What now? I’ve accepted the fact that I must live amongst normal humans trying to live accordingly to rules of the somewhat sane--rules made by people that, more often than not, make no sense to me. In this world, it’s impossible not to make waves and I no longer apologize for the ripple effect that I have on the people around me. I love deeply and strongly and do my best for the people in my life. If anything, being me means that there is never a boring moment.
I wrote this book as a means of not only telling the story of who I was or who I have become, but more to accept the things that have happened to me in my life and acknowledge that it has made me the person that I am today, which is a good thing. It’s important in my own journey through this hell we all call home that I say out loud that I lived. I’m wild and raw and take no prisoners in any aspect of my life. I hope that this book opens your eyes and, above all else, makes you laugh. If you are lucky enough to be a long with me for the ride you won’t regret it.